bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
