i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
