I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
