upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
