what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
