if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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