I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize