there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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