Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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