if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize