Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
