Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just want nice things and good sex
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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