sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
