So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
