Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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