Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the day after is always just damage control
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
