i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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