I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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