it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We are all done wearing pants today
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
