He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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