i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
