i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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