adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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