Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
