The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
