Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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