I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
