It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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