He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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