It's Friday. Sex?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
