i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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