is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
