In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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