I have demons in me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
