Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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