So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
