Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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