He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
