It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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