the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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