You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
