i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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