You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
