Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
