Got a toothbrush?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize