the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
