As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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