i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize