He felt like a one man threesome
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
