I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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