Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
