I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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