You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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