i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
