Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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