but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
