you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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