It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
