It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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