I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
