May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
